DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
