dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
