Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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