So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
