Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
