I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
