Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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