Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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