You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
