I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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