OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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