I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
