I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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