And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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