How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
