she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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