Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
