So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
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