laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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