My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
4 words: hood of his car
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
