Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
