Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
wow bdsm is so cute
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize