he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
