GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
