Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
