ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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