Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
