he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
