what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
