He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
