Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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