I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
