Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize