just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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