He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize