Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
When did angry sex become our thing?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
