I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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