so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
