what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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