I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
