Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
