I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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