Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
