she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
