Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
