Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
