Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
