white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
