Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
