Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
