I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
