apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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