i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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