her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
My breasts were aching with rage.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize