So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
