i barfeds in our rink
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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