When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize