I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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