what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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