First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
