I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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