i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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