If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
They have beer where we have blood.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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