Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I've blown a few things in my day
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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