Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
