I just threw up on my dentist
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
