I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Someone came in the potted fern
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
