none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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