I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
