The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
