No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
