My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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