White coat. Heels.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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